Remember when I said I had many plans for my low carb sweetened condensed milk? Well this low carb dulce de leche recipe was one of those plans. And now I have plans upon plans, as this little gem is bound for many other recipes.
But before I go on to that, I just have to say something. Something that is bound to get me some dirty looks from the kinder, gentler folks in polite society. But it has to be said, I’m afraid, and I am not one to shy away from speaking the difficult truths in life. So here it is. Simply put, three year olds suck. They are the rottenest creatures ever known to man, and as far as I can tell, they were put on this earth for the sole purpose of driving their exhausted mothers completely batty. Oh sure, they are cute to look at, but believe me, that is just a ruse. A way to lull you into complacency before they knock you over the head with pure naughtiness. And they are utterly remorseless. They can be caught red-handed and unblinkingly lie about the origins of the destruction all around them. Sometimes it’s enough to make you laugh…if it doesn’t make you cry first.
My three year old is smack dab in the throes of three year old behaviour and it’s a remarkable thing to watch. She is the very opposite of rationality. She will give you two contradicting statements in the very same breath. “I want toast for breakfast, I don’t want toast for breakfast”, with barely a beat between the two. Whatever you might say, she will declare that the exact opposite is true, even when it is a verifiable fact right before her eyes. “No, Mummy, the sky is NOT blue!”. All with a challenging gleam in her eye and a defiant tilt to her chin, daring you to take her on. And the destruction, oh the destruction. Everything she can get her hands on is upended and spilled and ripped and scribbled on, all with remarkable vigor. You always know she is up to no good when she’s suddenly quiet and out of sight. That’s when you need fear for your books/walls/carpets/cat.
Fortunately, I’ve had two of these creatures before and I know full well it’s just a phase one must survive. Say what you will about the various discipline methods, three year olds are a law unto themselves. I am not a lax parent by any stretch, and I don’t let my kids get away with much. But even an iron fist has little effect on a three year old. For the parents, this particular stage is just something to be lived through. Stay consistent and keep plenty of wine on hand.
And when all else fails, spoon low carb dulce de leche straight into your mouth. Go on, it’s good for you! And it soothes the frazzled soul.