Dear readers,
These are the hardest words I will ever have to write. My husband, Tim Ketchum, died suddenly last week of what was first thought to be an abdominal aneurysm. Doctors now think he may have had a genetic connective tissue disorder that weakened the structure of his aorta.
He was my partner in every sense of the word. He was my best friend, my confidante, my safe place. And oh, he was such an amazing father. He shared the burden of raising our three children with gusto, being present in a way that most dads will never be.
Everyone who ever met Tim loved him. Even people who only met him in passing were charmed by him. Warm, compassionate, loving, thoughtful. And funny as hell! I fell in love with him because he made me laugh. And even as life became more complicated and serious, we never lost that connection, that goofiness and silliness that made every situation easier to bear.
I feel compelled to share here because I am not quite sure what the future looks like. Certainly for the near term, I will be scaling back my time on All Day I Dream About Food so I can focus on my family and my grief. You will still see posts and recipes from me, but I don’t quite know with what frequency. I will be taking the easy route, updating older posts and sharing simple recipes. I have a backlog of some already that I can share over the next few weeks. I also have help with my social media and I am every so grateful to Stephanie, who has taken over my Facebook page completely for now.
Then again, I may decide to lose myself in the process of baking and create some amazing keto cakes. I honestly don’t know what I want or what I need right now. But I ask that you give me grace for not answering your questions in a timely fashion.
How you can help
I am so fortunate to have created an amazing community of readers and followers, some of whom have been with me for over a decade. I know many of you will want to help in some way. And I am grateful for your thoughts and your kindness.
The best thing you can do is keep coming to my website, reading my posts (both new and old), and sharing my posts on social media. Share to groups, share with friends, and pin my recipes to your Pinterest boards. This website has been my family’s source of income for many years now and views will generate much needed ad revenue. I know that ads can be cumbersome, but I ask that you take time to scroll through each post a little bit.
Another great way to help me is to purchase my cookbooks. In particular, pre-order my upcoming book, The Protein Advantage. I will not have much time to promote it now, but it’s something I worked so hard on. I would love to see it succeed and pre-orders make a huge difference to the overall sales of the book. It helps retailers decide how many copies they want to keep on their shelves. And I can assure you, it’s a book worthy of your time.
Thank you for reading. If you are a spiritual person, please send up some thoughts for the wonderful Tim Ketchum. He was a light in the world and touched so many people. I can say confidently that if you had met him, you would have loved him.
Nutritional Disclaimer
Please note that I am not a medical or nutritional professional. I am simply recounting and sharing my own experiences on this blog. Nothing I express here should be taken as medical advice and you should consult with your doctor before starting any diet or exercise program. I provide nutritional information for my recipes simply as a courtesy to my readers. It is calculated using MacGourmet software and I remove erythritol from the final carb count and net carb count, as it does not affect my own blood glucose levels. I do my best to be as accurate as possible but you should independently calculate nutritional information on your own before relying on them. I expressly disclaim any and all liability of any kind with respect to any act or omission wholly or in part in reliance on anything contained in this website.
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Oh, my, Carolyn, I am just so sorry. This happened to me (sudden death of my husband, my Roger) in June of 2013, and he was wonderful and my everything in all of the same ways that you have expressed. I will never forget how lost and bewildered my two daughters and I felt sitting in the emergency waiting room knowing that we had to walk away without him, and that we would always be without him for the rest of our days in this life. I did not know how to be “in charge” of everything (My dad died in ’02, and my mom in ’23 who was always dependent on my Roger and finally, on me.), and I still don’t, nor do want to be. I don’t know if your life is faith-based, but mine is. What I did and have continued to do is to just take one day at a time, listening to the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit and trusting that my Father has always and will always take care of me and my daughters showing me what to do even though His timing takes way longer that I am patient for in some cases.
I will be honest that I was hurt, angry, bewildered (all of the emotions) for a time following my Roger’s departure. There were times from the privacy of my car that I shouted and screamed at our Dad, and then sobbed out of the deepest sadness along with feelings of guilt about what I had just done.
At some point I believe that I came across a talk show (not accidentally) featuring a pastor who had lost his wife unexpectedly. He shared that he came to realize that what had happened was not between God and him, but only between God and her. This was nothing done to him. It was only done for her in God’s infinite and unbelievable love. (This next part is my own realization.) God doesn’t just do love. God IS love. Therefore, He can do nothing that is not love. I knew immediately that this was true with my Roger, that this was somehow, someway, love for Roger, not anything meant in any way against me nor toward my daughters. God also knew that He would always be there for the three of us and that we would be okay even though we all still miss my Roger, their Daddoo, desperately. (I hope that this helps you or someone else at some point and that no on is offended by it in any way. Neither offense nor any judgment are intended in any way.)
May you and your family have comfort, strength, peace, and healing as only can come from our Father, our Dad. Again, I am heartbroken for you and for all of your family. You will all stay in our prayers as we know that this will always be with you. Much love from people who truly care. Oh, and blessings on your sales. I will preorder your protein advantage book today, and I am sure that many others will do the same.
This is a beautifully written sentiment; thank you for sharing your story. May God continue to bless you, and God bless Carolyn and her family, as well.
I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family. May God wrap his arms around you and protect you at this difficult time. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I am filled with genuine sorrow for you and your children. Nothing can prepare anyone for that kind of loss. My wife and I lost our son in 2023. I have learned so much about myself during the grieving process. Please take your time. For me, it still makes no sense. He was doing so well. God bless you. Prayer is a vital ingredient to peace and comfort.
My heart goes out to you and your family. I, too, lost my husband 15 months ago so I can honestly say I know what you’re going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and loved ones as you navigate through this extremely difficult time. I will do my best to help you out. God bless.
Carolyn, I am so sorry to hear of your husband’s passing, and cannot imagine how one moves on from such a devastating and unexpected loss. I have followed you for six to seven years, and so appreciate the quality of your recipes, your website, and anything you create! I will be purchasing your new protein cookbook and I have a feeling I will think of and pray for you, Tim and your children every time I use it. May God direct your steps.
Carolyn, I am so, SO sorry for your loss! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. 🙏❤️🙏 ~ Pam
(I sent you a long message on Facebook messenger regarding our shared circumstances in this and the loss of our fathers in 2016, but not sure you use it any longer. I hope you can read it, and take some measure of comfort, as it’ll be 11 years next month that I unexpectedly lost my husband 💔)
Oh my goodness. My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray you feel surrounded by beautiful memories as you take this time to honor his life & find your footing.
I am so sorry to hear this. Prayers, love and light are coming to you and your family and, of course, to him. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Otherwise, I’ll be here, and I’ll do what you suggested above.
Sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your children in my prayers.🙏
I’m in tears as I read about the tragic loss of your precious husband. He sounds like the mirror image of you. Your children are blessed to have such parents. May God give you and your family comfort and healing, and bring you to a place where you can smile and feel joy again. 🙏🏻❤️🙏🏻
Dear Carolyn and family,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray the comfort of the Lord be with you and your family.
May you and your family be surrounded by His peace.
Cecelia
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s devastating to hear what you are doing through. Sending love and strength to you and your family.
I have appreciated your posts for many years as I learned how keto could help my seizure disorder. I am heartbroken by the news of your loss and I will be praying for you and your family.
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.
Your tribute to your husband brought tears to my eyes. God Bless
My deepest sympathy on the death of your husband. May you find comfort from friends and family and peace, at some point, in your new reality. I pray he rest in peace.
My prayers go out to you and your family. Grief is such a unpredictable journey. You do You, whatever that means and no apologies.